Have you ever heard of the truism "jokes are half meant"? If you have, do you believe in it? If you have not, then now, you have read of it and maybe if you read on, you'd be able to think of a joke of your own which could be half or full-meant. I gathered some of the most popular jokes on health and fitness over the Internet and after laughing about them, I thought maybe I could tell something that would prove that these jokes were born out of the sometimes painful and bitter realities of life.
It would really be nice to have a slim and really fit body but not everybody is blessed with such. There are some people, no matter how much food they take, including calories, fats and all, who never gain weight or grow fat. But to those who are blessed with tons of excesses in fats and weight, trimming down is one of the most difficult tasks in the world. Especially if "exercise" and "dieting" are alien terms for them, this humorous analysis of how the human body was arranged is just right:
I don't exercise at all. If God had wanted me to touch my toes He would have put them up higher on my body.
Sometimes, in the lowest point of your weight-loss campaign wherein only your weight doesn't go down and the rest, most especially your ego, has dropped down beyond the base, you find ways to console your ultra-bruised and dying ego. And one is to consider that every shape is accepted in the society:
I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
And then there's the matter of aging. To some, the question is: why change the course of time? A person's age adds up and along with the increase of the age is the gradual decline of the body. It is just a normal process. Why put pressure on yourself and your failing body? Age, time and fats are ganging up on you, three to one:
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat have become such inseparably good friends.
To choose whether to follow what you think or what you feel is another difficult task. It is an honorable and praiseworthy thought of working to get into shape. But, what would you do if the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak?
Every time I get the urge to exercise, I lie down till the feeling passes.
And then there are some people whose form of exercise is sharpening their wits. They could utter one-liner wisecracks that could make it to the funniest sitcom on TV:
The only exercise you get is jumping to conclusions.
And who said that only the adults are having a hard time being friendly with exercising? Take a trip to a school PE schedule and you might be surprised to hear some outrageous quips coming from the tots that you think are advocates of physical fitness:
My gym teacher told me to touch my toes. I said, "I don't have that kind of relationship with my feet. Can I just wave?" Excuses are the most popular forms of escape from the campaign towards getting fit and healthy. Here are some excuses that you may have sheepishly used once, twice or maybe more than thrice: • But it was my birthday, so I had to eat the whole cake. • I had to get the bitter taste out of my mouth from eating the so-called dish, so I had an ice cream. • If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories. • If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the diet soda cancels out the calories in the candy bar. • If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner. • Only eat things that have been broken into pieces; that way, all the calories fall out. • Chocolate is a vegetable. How, you ask? Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. And there's just the hardheaded approach, the I-really-don't-care-whether-I'm-fat-or-slim attitude that you may pronounce as a hopeless case. It's actually very easy to tell, once you hear this line, it's it: I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain. Getting fit and staying healthy is not a laughable matter - or is it? One thing sure is that it isn't an easy task. It involves determination, hard work and some light moments on the side. After all, laughing - for a long period - can help shake those excess fats off. And even the doctors agree it's the world's best medicine.
About the Author
The writer, Ismael Tabije, is the editor of the book, "The Man Who Grew Younger: Secrets to Natural Fitness and Beauty" which can be accessed at http://www.growyounger.e-mart4all.com. It has complete descriptions and illustrations of unique but proven effective exercises for maintaining youth and total vitality. He also runs the related website, http://www.fitness.e-mart4all.com, a wide collection of health and fitness e-books