You get your budget all worked out and then gas prices soar and your commuting expenses send you back to the drawing board. A new baby arrives, someone falls ill or dies, and everything changes. You have to change plans, change roles, learn new skills, and devise new routines -- but how? There wasn't enough time to keep up with things as they were!

And what about hormones? Ouch! Puberty, pms, menopause -- no matter where we are in the life cycle, we have to adapt to the changing landscapes of our own and our family's bodies. And when it comes to body chemistry, the changes are daily and even hourly. We never know how we'll wake up - it all depends on how we slept, what we ate the night before, what we see coming in the day ahead. And when it comes to love, we never know when we'll be in the mood for it!

No wonder life and living sometimes feel overwhelming! Not only are we dealing with all the changes that come with the territory of being human, but the pace of change is getting faster. Even a positive change, like a new computer or appliance, that helps us in the long run, makes demands on us. We have to take "extra time" for awhile to get things done as we learn the ropes on our new gadgets.

Although change is the basic nature of life, it makes demands on us -- it is, in essence, a "stressor". We tend to think of stress as a bad thing - but it is actually simply part of life and living. Every event in our lives can be viewed as a force that is affecting us, whether the impact is on the physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual levels (or all of the above). Something happens and we respond. Whether or not we actually feel stressed has to do with how well we are able to respond.

Change draws on our basic inner resources of energy, creativity and intelligence, and it makes demands on our time. We need a clear mind, rested body and calm spirit to meet these increasing demands that come with change. And we need one more vital ingredient - flexibility!

Please understand that when I write about the qualities we need to "surf the waves of change", I don't mean to imply any of us can become perfect at it. In fact, the ability to accept ourselves as imperfect (like every other human being who ever lived), is absolutely essential to developing the clarity, calmness, and especially the flexibility, that we all need in the midst of change. None of us is a superman or superwoman who always breezes through everything in life without distress. To some degree or another, we all get stressed out by change and here the warning signs:

You feel as if life is moving too fast. You find it hard to switch gears when things don't happen as planned. You feel you are on overload - the pressure feels too intense. You feel panicked about whether you can handle it all. You can't think straight - there's just too much information to process or emotion to experience. You'd give anything to take a break, but don't feel you can.

There are plenty of other symptoms you may experience when overwhelmed by change. While they may be different for different people, everyone needs certain qualities to live with change.

Here are six qualities you need to "surf the waves of change" (or what we need to be "response-able") and ways to develop each one:

1. Energy: Stay rested to keep your batteries charged. This way change doesn't find you running on empty. We all need an energy reserve, just as much as we need an emergency fund in the bank.

2. Creativity: Find ways to get the creative juices flowing on a daily basis - draw, paint, sing, dance, set your spirit free! Creativity requires freedom of expression, and that requires practice.

3. Mental clarity: Learn a way to get centered. Find a way that works for you - there are lots of resources to help you with this. For some, it may be a walk in nature, meditation, prayer. Practice something at least a few minutes daily so that you live a more centered life and can call upon your special technique when needed.

4. Inner Calm: Learn to relax. If you do this one thing, the rest will follow! There are lots of ways to learn this all important skill - find one that works for you and start it right away.

5. Stability: Devote time to building strong foundations in your life on all levels - physical, mental, emotional and spiritual - so that the waves of change don't throw you completely off kilter. Developing the other five qualities mentioned here increase your inner stability, but this also needs to be reflected in stable and supportive relationships, health, finances, and even daily routines.

6. Flexibility: Stretch whenever you can, both your body and your mind. Try new activities and develop new skills. Expose yourself to different cultures and ways of thinking - you can incorporate what's useful to you and discard what doesn't suit you. You'll find you become more flexible and versatile. Read different kinds of books, watch different kinds of movies, and whatever you do stretch your body regularly.

About the author:

Mary Maddux is a practitioner, teacher and writer in the fields of healing and self-development. She has an MS in clinical social work, has been trained as a Healing Touch Practitioner and has many years of experience in the practice and teaching of meditation. She has created a unique series of CDs for relaxation, meditation and healing. Visit her website, http://www.heartofhealing.net for in-depth discussions and practical information.